I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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