cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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