TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just pee around me
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Randomize
