Just cropdusted the office
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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