you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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