YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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