I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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