he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
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