I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
