You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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