dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
