im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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