I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
sarcasm needs its own font
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
