I am spending my child support on dildos
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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