we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
