never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
