I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
