Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
