She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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