Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
