I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
