In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
