someone get that fucking seahorse.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
