Umm I'm too high to move.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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