How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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