But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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