i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I just had sex on a roof
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
