hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
