So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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