Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
