i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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