Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
