thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
