It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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