so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Randomize
