it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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