Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
