The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
