I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
