you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
