Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
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