I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
