Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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