i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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