yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
