worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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