I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
