Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
