I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
This baby is an asshole
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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