I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
40s are totally the cure
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Randomize
