I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Randomize
